As a black person living in America, I have been just like most black people who are easily offended by the jokes, comments, and responses by non-blacks.  They might as well have talked about my Mama!

But one day, I rebirth myself and gave birth to myself by myself.  I entered a new state of consciousness in which I threw away everything that I had been told and relearned things but through African eyes.  I went into a level of "consciousness" in which I learned about the twists and lies told to me by White people and allowed and even promoted by the Black community. 

I cut my weave out and grew long dreadlocs.  I became a "radical" thinker and could not even sleep trying to figure out how to start the next REVOLUTION!   I went from being PRO-WHITE to PRO-BLACK.  But then I got attacked by my own people, who I thought would appreciate my Blackness.  Attacked about my hair, about my views, about my newfound knowledge, I feel like I am on a secluded mental island.

I graduated in the top 5% of my high school. I was BRILLIANT!  But I was PRO-WHITE and knew white history better than most of the white people at my school.  But the black girls said I acted white, talked white, thought I was, and on and on.  The black boys, now that I look back, probably thought I was "too good" for them.  In some ways, I was.  I didn't want to be ghetto!   All I wanted and loved doing was to learn and be the best PERSON that I could be. They did everything in their power to try to stop me. 

The white kids and teachers had to accept me but now I look back and realize that many of them were doing things to try to stop me from achieving.  But their weapons did not prosper! 

I just never fit in anywhere.  Mentally smart, but very naive in thinking that the world could really operate by LOVE.  Imagine that!

I never enjoyed the summer sun soaking into my skin because I didn't want to get darker.  I carried an umbrella.  I hated my full lips, my hair, and my skin.  I didn't like anything African. 

But I read Dr. Francis Cress-Welsing's "The Isis Papers" and saw the movie called "Sankofa" and it changed my life.  I was the most PRO-BLACK sista on the planet!  I was ANGRY!  But I still wasn't ghetto.  But I used that anger to do something positive for the Black community in which I lived.  I wrote opinions, articles, made phone calls, showed up, introduced myself and forced myself on White America.  And they greeted me.  They were glad to hear from someone who had such a refreshing perspective.  Black people are really afraid of white people.  But when you get to the point where you are more afraid of not talking to them, you realize that white people are about business and don't mind sitting down with you if you can do more than complain. 

But, I was so mad at white people and what they had taught me.  I was so mad at white people and what they DID NOT teach me.  I became a civil rights leader in my community and used my anger to try to make a difference. 

But do you know who stopped me?  The Black people in my community.  Was it jealousy that I was getting attention?  Was it fear that they would lose their job?  Or their "position" in the community?  Whatever the reason, the most articulate, intelligent, well-read, authors of books, PhD's and the like did not want to come together to truly make an effective change. 

Instead, they wanted to just write poetry and show up at the weekly poetry slam, or quietly publish books, or earn more college degrees, or carry the titles of "Diversity Manager" or "Black History Liason."  White people say the same thing over and over when they report the news.  Black people say the same thing over and over  when they report the news, too. We get tired of hearing what White people say about another shooting in the hood.  And they get tired of hearing us complain about racial discrimination. White people put plans together and implement them.  Black people just go home and reflect on how they moved the audience that night.  But where is the plan?  Why perform the problems if you cannot offer a solution and put it to use?

That's why I was able to sit down with the White leaders in my community.  I was able to address the problems and back it up, but provide solutions and back those up.

I realized the same thing that the heroic and conscious Black people of other times realized, every slave did not want to do what it takes to be free.  Most of the slaves did not want freedom.  If that were true, they would have all risked their lives to fight on Abraham Lincoln's side.  The EMANCIPATION came as a result of a few Black people while the rest stayed on the plantation afraid, content, or didn't care one way or the other.  Harriet Tubman was attacked by the slaves she tried to help!  That's why she toted a gun!

But as a single mother, the first person to graduate college in my family with a B.S. in Computer Information Management, I don't want to fight in the trenches.  I will lead by example and leave my mark in time.  Besides, I can't be busy trying to save the world when I need to save me and my child!  The key is to not die early from stress, diabetes, a stroke, high blood pressure or a heart attack.  The key is to SURVIVE!  The longer I live, the more differences I can make in this world.

The problem on the Internet.  I purchased this domain name because so many black domains are being used for sex sites.  I hoped that this site would turn into a place for intelligent, African conscious growth.  But do you know how hard it is to change 500 years of lies, destruction, and abuse?  Do you know how hard it is to teach people who don't want to be taught?

The solution is LAUGHTER!  I embrace myself, my ethnicity, my cocoa skin, my beautiful summer tan, my deep brown eyes, my long and nappy dreadlocs.  But I also quit taking myself and Black issues so seriously.  When Black people stop writing poetry and write a plan of action and then TAKE ACTION, I will be there on the frontline.  But in the meantime, I laugh more!  My blood pressure is down and I am enjoying life.

You don't like what White people say about Black people, then you beat them at their own game.  So Black people come on in and laugh at yourself.  If Eddie Murphy can talk about you, so can I!  If White people can laugh at themselves, then so can you!

Peace and blessings, ~*Kenyaspeaks*~