As a black person
living in America, I have been just like most black people who are easily
offended by the jokes, comments, and responses by non-blacks. They might
as well have talked about my Mama!
But one day, I rebirth myself and gave birth to myself by
myself. I entered a new state of consciousness in which I threw away
everything that I had been told and relearned things but through African eyes. I went into
a level of "consciousness" in which I learned about the twists and lies told to
me by White people and allowed and even promoted by the Black community.
I cut my weave out and grew long dreadlocs.
I became a "radical" thinker and could not even sleep trying to figure out how
to start the next REVOLUTION! I went from being PRO-WHITE to
PRO-BLACK. But then I got attacked by my own people, who I thought would
appreciate my Blackness. Attacked about my hair, about my views, about my
newfound knowledge, I feel like I am on a secluded mental island.
I graduated in the top 5% of my high school. I was BRILLIANT!
But I was PRO-WHITE and knew white history better than most of the white people
at my school. But the black girls said I acted white, talked white,
thought I was, and on and on. The black boys, now that I look back,
probably thought I was "too good" for them. In some ways, I was. I
didn't want to be ghetto! All I wanted and loved doing was to learn
and be the best PERSON that I could be. They did everything in their power to
try to stop me.
The white kids and teachers had to accept me but now I look
back and realize that many of them were doing things to try to stop me from
achieving. But their weapons did not prosper!
I just never fit in anywhere. Mentally smart, but very
naive in thinking that the world could really operate by LOVE. Imagine
I never enjoyed the summer sun soaking into my skin because I
didn't want to get darker. I carried an umbrella. I hated my full
lips, my hair, and my skin. I didn't like anything African.
But I read Dr. Francis Cress-Welsing's "The Isis Papers" and
saw the movie called "Sankofa" and it changed my life. I was the most
PRO-BLACK sista on the planet! I was ANGRY! But I still wasn't
ghetto. But I used that anger to do something positive for the Black
community in which I lived. I wrote opinions, articles, made phone calls,
showed up, introduced myself and forced myself on White America. And they
greeted me. They were glad to hear from someone who had such a refreshing
perspective. Black people are really afraid of white people. But
when you get to the point where you are more afraid of not talking to them, you
realize that white people are about business and don't mind sitting down with
you if you can do more than complain.
But, I was so mad at white people and what they had taught
me. I was so mad at white people and what they DID NOT teach me.
I became a civil rights leader in my community and used my anger to try to make
But do you know who stopped me? The Black people in my
community. Was it jealousy that I was getting attention? Was it fear
that they would lose their job? Or their "position" in the community?
Whatever the reason, the most articulate, intelligent, well-read, authors of
books, PhD's and the like did not want to come together to truly make an
Instead, they wanted to just write poetry and show up at the
weekly poetry slam, or quietly publish books, or earn more college degrees, or
carry the titles of "Diversity Manager" or "Black History Liason." White
people say the same thing over and over when they report the news. Black
people say the same thing over and over when they report the news, too. We
get tired of hearing what White people say about another shooting in the hood.
And they get tired of hearing us complain about racial discrimination. White
people put plans together and implement them. Black people just go home
and reflect on how they moved the audience that night. But where is
the plan? Why perform the problems if you cannot offer a solution and put
it to use?
That's why I was able to sit down with the White leaders in my
community. I was able to address the problems and back it up, but
provide solutions and back those up.
I realized the same thing that the heroic and conscious Black
people of other times realized, every slave did not want to do what it takes
to be free. Most of the slaves did not want freedom. If that
were true, they would have all risked their lives to fight on Abraham Lincoln's
side. The EMANCIPATION came as a result of a few Black people while the
rest stayed on the plantation afraid, content, or didn't care one way or the
other. Harriet Tubman was attacked by the slaves she tried to help!
That's why she toted a gun!
But as a single mother, the first person to graduate college
in my family with a B.S. in Computer Information Management, I don't want to
fight in the trenches. I will lead by example and leave my mark in time.
Besides, I can't be busy trying to save the world when I need to save me and my
child! The key is to not die early from stress, diabetes, a stroke, high
blood pressure or a heart attack. The key is to SURVIVE! The
longer I live, the more differences I can make in this world.
The problem on the Internet. I purchased this
domain name because so many black domains are being used for sex sites. I
hoped that this site would turn into a place for intelligent, African conscious
growth. But do you know how hard it is to change 500 years of lies,
destruction, and abuse? Do you know how hard it is to teach people who
don't want to be taught?
The solution is LAUGHTER! I embrace myself, my
ethnicity, my cocoa skin, my beautiful summer tan, my deep brown eyes, my long
and nappy dreadlocs. But I also quit taking myself and Black issues so
seriously. When Black people stop writing poetry and write a plan of
action and then TAKE ACTION, I will be there on the frontline. But in
the meantime, I laugh more! My blood pressure is down and I am enjoying
You don't like what White people say about Black people,
then you beat them at their own game. So Black people come on in and
laugh at yourself. If Eddie Murphy can talk about you, so can I! If
White people can laugh at themselves, then so can you!
Peace and blessings, ~*Kenyaspeaks*~